WHAT IS SO BAD ABOUT COVETING?
Every year, some time in mid-winter, we read parshat Yitro which, most famously, contains the “Aseret HaDivrot” what most of the Judeo-Christian world calls the Ten Commandments. It has been said that all the other 603 mitzvot can be derived from these ten utterances. It has also been said that they contain the most important basic “rules” of appropriate behavior by which to live our lives. I don’t know if either of these are entirely accurate, but I do know that they have become central to western religious thought and teaching,
We are confronted with the acceptance of God’s existence and action in our lives: “I am the Lord your God Who brought you out of the land of Egypt…”. We are told to have no other gods, to refrain from frivolous or deceptive use of God’s name, and to remember the Sabbath. We must honor our parents. This is an interesting transition from the first four, which are clearly God-centered and the later statements which are more societal. I see this commandment as including our earthly parents and our celestial Parent) and to refrain from murder, theft, adultery and perjury.
We are also instructed not to covet the belongings and relationships of our fellows. Why is this so important? How can our feelings be mandated? I think the answer is in my understanding of the difference between coveting and being jealous or envious. As I see it, to envy another person’s wealth, position or spouse is to wish you had something or someone as good (or better). This desire can be fine, especially if it provides the motivation to improve one’s situation. If I am inspired by ambition or desire to work harder, get smarter or improve my appearance, that can be a good thing. There is nothing wrong with ambition as long as it does not interfere with character.
This where my understanding of “covet” comes into play. I see coveting my fellow’s possession not as wanting something as good as what he has, but as wanting the particular item that he has. I don’t just want a car as nice as his, I want THAT car. I want his house or his job or his spouse. I set myself up as being more worthy than he. (note: I am using masculine pronouns as universal the feminine would apply just as aptly… I have grammatical/usage problems with “they” as a singular pronoun). I am seeing myself as somehow superior to or more deserving than my neighbor.
This feeling could lead to some problems. If I am more deserving of his possessions than he is, I might be tempted or even feel entitled to take them for myself. This would entail theft or, in the case of a spouse, adultery. So maybe the command not to covet serves as a guardrail to protect other values. Also, if I am elevating myself to a higher level of being than anyone else, I begin to see myself as the object of reverence, almost like a god. This self-worship might be the most egregious form of idolatry. To set oneself up a a god, even in one’s own mind is a clear violation of the second of the ten commandments.
We are warned, in popular parlance, to be careful what we wish for. We also, by force of this tenth of the commandments, are warned to be careful about how we wish for it. Our reverence for God and respect for God’s oneness, requires respect and regard for our fellow creatures and avoidance of self-importance and a sense of entitledment.
